Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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