And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
