I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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