Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
