I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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