I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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