I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
