How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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