You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
