I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
