Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
