I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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