I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
