I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
