oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
