dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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