She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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