Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
