Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
