her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
