How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
