She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
