You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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