You're my little dorito
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
