I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
