some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
wakey wakey hands off snakey
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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