I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
