your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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