Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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