Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Still dying that you shit outside
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
