then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
