I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
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You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
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I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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