just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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