I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
