I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
