Don't you send me to vm
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
