I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
