escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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