Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
