Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
