He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
