just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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