It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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