We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize