I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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