I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
