please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
