Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Brb crying the tears of my youth
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
