Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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