AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
