she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We don't watch enough power rangers
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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