new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she looked like the before picture.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
