Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
