super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
