i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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