When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
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