I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize